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Jello

April 25, 2013
This blog post has been in the works for weeks. Blogger’s block I suppose. Many little bits of things that just finally conjealed into a whole. It reminds me of the jello my nana would make with bits of fruit suspended in it. This is my jello 🙂

“We come to beginnings only at the ends.” William Bridges

I cut my hair short. It’s hard to help solder small circuit boards or use a dremel tool when you have hair in your face, at least for me. Drastic changes in hair style have been a part of my life. A few I’d like to forget but mostly it’s an act of freedom. Long hair falling to the ground to reveal a bouncier, lighter Kelly. Plus, I prefer shower and go ease or risk the permanent ponytail fixture. It’s a form follows function kind of decision, guess I’m just utilitarian that way.

It’s a change and sometimes change is good. Cleary we don’t all share that perspective and there’s probably a nature vs. nurture discussion in there. Within the multitude of experiences of the past 6 months a hair cut is a small change, a welcome change. All these decisions move us in a direction and one that looks somewhat different from our life in Massachusetts. Let’s face it, even if we were to pack up the Jarr Car and head home today we are returning changed from the experience. It is an ending and a beginning.

I don’t fear change but the lengthy process of finding a new normal has its challenges. Inherent  in change is the inevitable ending of something known like the predictable comfort and ease that comes from living in one place for years. In some ways I took for granted the moments of seeing familiar faces. The closeness that builds over many cups of coffee, bible studies, trips to the gym, impromptu dinners, playdates and support in lifes difficult moments. Friendship is happening here but it’s a process, one that can’t be rushed no matter how much I might long for community. I’d like to fast forward and make a tshirt to help. It would look something like this…

Hi, I’m Kelly

From: Massachusetts, and yes we are enjoying the weather here
When: October
Why: Technology, but not Google or Apple
Where: Saratoga
House: Rent, yes ours is small too
School: Homeschool

Maybe then we could get to the knowing eachother phase quicker. Less small talk and more getting to the real life day-to-day living part. Sometimes the song from Cheers pops in my head, not the “I love you Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly” one, the other one “I wanna go where everyboby knows my name”. I want to be in that place. Each time we moved growing up I assumed that place existed where everyone knew eachother and I just didn’t know the secret hand shake yet. I spent so much time trying to figure out what it feels like to be normal in a new place. I see now that normal is something we hold inside ourselves not something we move into. The more  we just live our lives being who we really are the more friends we seem to meet. No special hand shake required.

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